Quatre's Commercialism Catastrophe
by Dark Neko Shinigami
Summary: Ano... I reuploaded this because I didn't like the title. Rated for langauge, but I don't think there is but one or two blue words it it. :)


(I don't own Gundam Wing, Snickers, or that damn box)  
  
Author's note: Ok... to understand this piece of dribble better, go to Auto-chan and read "Why wait? Have a Quatre!" That was a note I had left her on the comp one day before I had gone to work and before she had gotten home from school. She decided to post it under her name, and this is just the continuation of it. :) Arigatou!)  
  
  
  
Heh Heh Heh  
  
Quatre: Uhm... ano.... Hello? *Peers around in the darkened warehouse type like structure that he has conviently realized he was in*  
  
Man in the Background: *Whispers to someone on his left* Promise me he won't freak out like he did that last time*  
  
Someone on the left: *Shrugs, but you can't hear that*  
  
Man in the Background: Well that gives me a lot of hope...  
  
Quatre: Hello? I can hear talking... would somebody please tell me where I am?  
  
Man in the Background (Or MiB for short now, since I've broken a nail and have the right to abbreviate): *Gives a nervous chuckle* Hi... Quatre... *Says slowly as if Quatre were insane*  
  
Quatre: *Pinpoints the location of the voice* Oh, Hello! *Waves timidly* Would you mind telling me what I'm doing here and How I got here?  
  
MiB: Movie Magic! *A switch is heard being flipped from somewhere in the darkness and light floods the area*  
  
Quatre: *Blinks painfully, then groans as he realizes he's standing on yet another commercal set* Oh no... not again...  
  
Someone on the left: *Whispers* Did you pat him down for that box?  
  
MiB: Yup! *Proudly holds up the box, his thumb accidently slipping over the switch* Ooops..  
  
Dorothy's eyebrows: *POOF*  
  
Dorothy: MY EYEBROWS EXPLODED!!  
  
Quatre: I Don't mean to be rude... but I DETEST Snickers and everything they stand for..  
  
MiB: Dooon't worry. The snickers won't hurt you.  
  
Quatre: I said No.  
  
MiB: Please? For all the children out there?  
  
Quatre: No! The last thing I want to do is promote cavities.  
  
Someone on the left: What a wimp... Did you tell him what this commerical is about? I mean.. this isn't for snickers...  
  
MiB: *Looks innocent as he pushes the button again*  
  
Someone on the left: *Boom*  
  
Quatre: Hey! That's MY Box! Give that here Right now!  
  
MiB: Just say the line and I will.  
  
Quatre: *Runs his fingers through his hair and muffles a curse* Oh.. Allright...  
  
Dorothy: QUATRE... RABERBA... WINNER!!  
  
Quatre: Oh.... shit. *Backs away slowly* Ano... Hello Dorothy... *Shakily* Hey... glad to see you got rid of those awful eyebrows...  
  
Dorothy: EEERRRR!!! Your box did this to them!!!  
  
MiB: Uh oh... Sorry Quatre!  
  
Quatre: Give me that box! *Looks at a fast approaching, very pissed off Dorothy* Do you want to get me KILLED?!  
  
Dorothy: Do you know how LONG it took for me to seperate my eyebrows into those precious forks each and every morning!? Do you?! *Grabs Quatre by the collar and shakes him*  
  
Quatre: Uh.. Uh.. NO!?  
  
Dorothy: Forty five minutes!!   
  
MiB: Excuse me. Guys? *Holds up the box and waves it*  
  
Heero: *Suddenly appears beside The Man in the Background* Nani.... yo? *Looks around*  
  
Quatre: *Waves to Heero as he is being frantically shaken* Oh, look! The spandex button works!  
  
Heero and MiB: Spandex button? *Look to each other confused*  
  
Dorothy: *Continues to shake the young blond*  
  
Quatre: *Shakily* I *Gets shaken* Don't *Gets shaken* Understand *Gets shaken* What this *Gets shaken* Has to do *Gets shaken* With Snickers! *Gets shaken*  
  
MiB: Oh, this isn't really a snickers commercial, it's for something much more important!   
  
Quatre: Oh? *Gets shaken*  
  
Heero: *Looks about himself* Spandex button? *Glares at Quatre* 8-7  
  
MiB: Yes! This is a commercial for Embarassing Female Hygeine Products!  
  
Heero: I'm outta here. *Reaches over, presses the spandex button and returns to where ever it was he came from*  
  
Quatre: *Jaw drops* *Blinks* *Sweats* *Sputters* *Gawks* *Blushes* *Nosebleeds* *Giggles* *Hyperventalates*   
  
MiB: Oh come on! Did you think that with all of those sisters you had living with you, that we could Possibly pass you up for the spokesman for Embarassing Female Hygeine Products?! I mean... you've lived with all of those women! We assertained that you would be the only male on the planet and all the colonies that wouldn't have a problem speaking up about them!  
  
Quatre: Well.. Well.. You were Wrong!! Those stupid women drove me NUTS! Day and night, night and day, year after year... it was one thing. *Eyes go dark as he once again goes ZERO* *Hisses* P... M... S... It drove me mad... MAD I TELL YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
Duo: *Flounces in* Heeeey! This is the second commerical fic you guys have done without me! *Whines softly*  
  
Quatre: *Goes normal* Hi Duo! *Waves, then goes back to being a raving lunatic*  
  
Duo: Oi.. so.. what's up?  
  
MiB: *Looks at Duo* *Holds up the box and presses another button*  
  
Jerry Springer Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!  
  
Duo: Whoa! Freaky! *Takes a seat to the right of the Man in the Background*  
  
MiB: *Shakes the box* No, you're supposed to go away Maxwell! *Presses another button*  
  
Dorothy: *Eyebrows reappear on her chin* Aaaiieeee!!!! *Runs madly in circles*  
  
Duo: O.o COOL!   
  
Quatre: *Settles down* I think now would be a good time to depart. *Reaches out to take his box from MiB* Yoink! *Runs out of the warehouse*  
  
Duo: *Jumps up, throwing his stool into the middle of the room as the chanting of the Springer audience begins to get to him* Oi! Wait for me, Q-man!   
  
Quatre: *Slams and locks the door of the warehouse as Duo exits, then gives his braided friend a truly freaky smile* *Holds up the box and presses a button*  
  
Warehouse: *Poof*  
  
Duo: Whoa... remind me to never get on your bad side, pal.  
  
Quatre: *Nods* Deal!  
  
Both: *Leave for more normal surroundings... until the next commercial! Mwa ha ha ha ha!*  
  
  
An: So I'm insane. Oi.. I don't own Springer either. Don't sue. *Wanders off muttering to herself*  



End file.
